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♥ Saturday, March 12, 2011

not very good.. i didnt wan to go out with my frens actually. but just becos of i got bf... people should know that when i got bf, i wish to spend time with him.. but well.. too bad.. bf in march is a bit different. i donno y...

this few weekends was actually waiting for bf to ask me out. very very very very very long never receive any msg from bf asking me out or any other things. i was waiting and waiting and waiting but from morning to night and even days... i didnt receive it. how sad that can be..

i wanted to ask him out but scare that he is tired.. he not feeling well.. he may not like it or some other things.. i can say is time is up for the honeymoon period.

5months we been together.. 5months.. we get to see each other almost everyday.. but now in march and till now 12 march... i only see him for 2 times only.. 2 times... y is it so?? i donn understand y...

i really feel so sad at times.. i cant tell him all this.. sometimes i really wan to let him know how i feel.. but now i cant catch what is in his mind. i feel so so so so upset and even not secure anymore.. i do very upset at times... but.. i cant force him.. i love him too much.. if i force him, he will step back step back and further away from me.. NO NONO NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN! i love him.. should i tell him abt this???

sometimes i wanna ask him what he post on the fb.. but if i asked he will never wan to post again... he say got things then please to let him know asap.. but.. whenever i wish to.. he will never wan to do so as well...

is he really asleep..??? im not sure.. he say so then that is it... me??? i went out the whole day today with zhao wen.. went suntec for it show and then meet the gals in bugis and then to home.. very very tired.. ive been out since 1.00pm and got home at abt 9... was out for the 8 hours...

yeahh was fun with frens but i prefer to be with bf.. but...having a bf working in turf is really very headache and no extra time for dating... i cant say much. this is what i have choosen.. i should know this when i choosen a bf in turf club.. my bf is very hardworking at work.. he work 7 days... morning till night...very tiring at times... i cant say much.. what he need is rest rest rest rest rest.... icant say much at times... i need him thats what i can say.

sometime when he cant sleep in the night, i really hope that he can call me or even text me saying he cant sleep and need some1 to talk and da. da. da...... but i don receive anything.. he told me today he cant sleep the whole afternoon... i hope he can ring me say he need me ask me to be there for him.. chat with him... but i receive nth.. i hope his text saying ask u free??? or maybe can u get me dinner??? i miss u can u come over now? sometimes i do really hope that so..

but... still.. he need rest need some personal time.. among all the dating moments.. ALL the moments i love i like i appreciate and cherish a lot. i really treasure the time when we get together.. im so happy to see him.. but the most lovely time that i get from them was much 9 in the wed night... we had our pillow talk... for abt 1 hr.. and he speak so much and even more then me. i enjoy listening to him talk all the way... i enjoy it so much so much by just listening to him.. how i wish time to stop at that moment..

he tell me his thinking.. what he wants... what happen and so mani things... i have been waiting for this moment and then i got it.. the best thing i ever had... i appreciate it.. i cherish it.. i enjoy it... being so happy abt it.. thanks bf...

i actually didnt wan to lie to him today.. im sorry.. cos i just hope to receive the texts from u.. im very upset.. sorry.. just wont do it again..

u wan me to rely on u.. i was so happy to hear this from u.. but im getting no more secure feel from u... but i m still very happy with u.... thanks baby............................

sometimes i may think too much.. but sometimes.. i need to start thinking abt the bad things is going to happen like what if... what if what if... or maybe he on crush on another gal. angmo or asian is not a matter. then i start thinking... is he don love me that much any more? what if we break... will i be upset??? yes i will very very heart breaking.. then if is that so.. then i still cant say anything anymore. well............ very upset at times... love him too much so i cant stop thinking.. really feel so scare now. fear...................................................
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To Be or Not to BE. That's a question!
Saturday, March 12, 2011